Monday 2 March 2009

Trombone and Monkey

I realised today that I remember the registration number (ULW 505, since you ask) of the car (a boxy old Anglia, since you ditto) of the headmaster of the school I was at half a century ago. Somehow, when so much that would have been vastly more useful, beautiful or illuminating, has fallen down the oubliette for good and all, this entirely worthless fragment remains firmly lodged. I could use the space too, now that my memory banks appear too full (of this sort of dross, no doubt) to take much more in, or even to allow me to remember what I was talking about a moment ago... But yesterday I discovered by chance a couple of facts which, though useless, do have a certain beauty, and stand a chance, I think/hope, of staying put in my frail memory. The French, I discover, call a paperclip a trombone - a rare flight of fancy by Moonseer Froggie there, at once perfectly descriptive and surreal. And the Polish - ah the Polish - call the @ sign, for which we have no word but at, a monkey. Think about it. I love it, and am going to set about introducing it into common usage. I suggest we all do the same. Ridicule and incomprehension will be our portion - but it will be a noble fight. We also need words for ... (OK it's an elipsis, but only subeditors use that word)and / - forward slash is very ugly. Oh there's stroke of course - but then what's back slash called - backstroke? Enough - time for my medication.

14 comments:

  1. Ha! We actually call them 'trombones' in our office because they have various languages on the box and someone once expressed similar delight to yours.

    How about a 'Pisa' for /

    My sister and I once had a competition to see who could remember a random numberplate the longest. That was about 20 years ago and we both still can. One day I might not be able to remember anything except that bloody numberplate.

    I think that comment covers all your points and now I thank you and goodnight.

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  2. \ = two drinks below par
    | = par, time for another one
    / = timber!
    _ = comatose, do not disturb

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  3. Very Victor Borgesque everyone.
    Numberplate of the guy who owned The bottled water plant in Morpeth.. H2 EAU.

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  4. / used to be called an oblique. You must have known that at school.

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  5. The Russians, I think, call @ a sobachka, or little dog. Cannot imagine why.

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  6. It vexes me that people persist in thinking that @ means "at", when (consisting of the letter a combined with the letter e) it really means "at each".

    "2 prs spats @ 11/3 - £1/2/6" is utterly splendid.

    "I am @ home" is despicable.

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  7. "I am @ home" must be a message from the Homes Secretary?

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  8. I'm not sure it pays to get vexed about things like the @ symbol. You might find your life turns into one endless stream of vexations.

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  9. Au contraire, 'tis a source of continual pleasure - and much less depressing than getting vexed about global warming, terrorism, the economy, or other modish concerns.

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  10. No arguments from me there.

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  11. I'm beginning to think the best expression for ... is dot dot dot. Life's full of disappointments dot dot dot

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  12. Good idea, Nige, dot dot dot not.

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  13. Not dot dot dot Brit? If not dot dot dot what?

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  14. Well ... is a suspenseful symbol, so I would favour a big, brassy DUM dum DAAAAAAAA like in old film noirs.

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